Podcast: Fear Is Destroying Your Creativity

Fear kills creativity. True creativity comes from fearlessness. If you are afraid of being rejected or of not being accepted, then you will not fully express yourself…and you will not be as fully creative as you could be.

(This podcast is also available through Spotify, Apple Podcasts, etc.)

Here is the transcript for my friends who do not understand spoken English, or those who simply prefer to read rather than listen:

People, how are you… Let's talk about fear. Fear kills creativity.

True creativity comes from fearlessness.

So, what is this fear? Where does this fear come from? It comes from your desire to be accepted and recognized. This desire is what causes the fear, because you will be afraid that you and your work will not be accepted and recognized and applauded. This is the same as the fear of being judged, and the fear of rejection.

©Ray Arias. Woman on the sidewalk, NYC

If you are afraid of being rejected or not being recognized for your creations, you will not fully express yourself as you want, and, therefore, you will never be as fully creative as you could be. You will limit and alter your creativity and your creations in order to please others, in order to be accepted, in order to be judged favorably. You will not truly and authentically express yourself.

The French painter, Henri Matisse (1869 - 1954), said "Creativity takes courage."

Henri Matisse, “Luxury Calm and Pleasure” 1904

Henri Matisse, “La Danse” 1910

Sylvia Plath (1932 - 1963), the American poet who won the Pulitzer Prize, said “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”

Since most of us are on Instagram, I will relate this to Instagram. Instagram limits creativity for many people. The desire for likes and followers causes fear...the fear that creating and posting what you really want to post will not be popular. So, you create and post things that you think people want to see...for example, certain scenes, certain props such as umbrellas and hats, certain colors. And you will repeat this over and over, creating the same type of things, even though they are not what you really want to create, in order to try and get more likes and more followers and more comments. You are seeking approval. Never truly creating, and expressing and showing what you want.

There are big Instagram accounts, photographers, with tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands of followers...their posts are completely similar. If you took ten photos from three of those photographers and removed their name, and showed those photos to people, even people who know the photographers, they wouldn't be sure which photographer created which photos. Because the photographers are basically imitating each other.

Let's be clear, for Instagram...are you using it for business? Such as being an influencer or selling your own products? If so, then of course you want to maximize your reach and the number of followers, because that gives you the chance to sell more.

So, if your main motivation is to sell something, a product or service, then posting what you think people want to see is the right thing to do.

However, if what you want to do is to create your own art, express yourself, and show THAT to people, then you absolutely need to be true to yourself, and not give a thought to "popularity."

Of course, I understand the desire to be recognized, and to have as many people as possible see your creations....I want it, too....but this is a very slippery slope, and you can quickly become trapped.

The true artist creates art for art's sake. The true artist does not think "I am going to create THIS, in order to get THAT." Not true artists nor true creators. They create to create, and to express themselves. Not for some reward. The rewards are a secondary consideration.

©Vivian Maier (1926-2009). I believe her to be the greatest street photographer, ever. She never told anyone about her photos…they were only discovered after her death.

And by the way, make no mistake, it is the true, fearless creator who usually becomes recognized and famous. Those creators and artists are actually the ones who usually DO get something...for example, fame and fortune. So, if you really want to make an impact, your best chance is to be your unique self, your authentic self. Because no one else is you...no one else. And no one else can create as you create.

There is a famous fashion photographer, Albert Watson, one of my favorites. One of his first assignments was for Harper's Bazaar. They wanted him to shoot the famous film director, Alfred Hitchcock. And they wanted the photo to be of Hitchcock holding a platter with a cooked goose on the platter. Instead, Albert Watson shot the famous director holding a raw, plucked goose by the neck. That photo was a big sensation, and it launched the photographer's career. So, it is because he used his own creativity that Albert Watson became a famous, wealthy photographer. He has shot over 100 covers of Vogue and multiple covers for many, many of the world's famous magazines...shot many famous people. I read a story that he sold his New York City apartment a few years ago for over $20 million. That's how wealthy he has become. It is all because he shot as he wanted to shoot. Many other photographers would have just shot as they were told, and we would have never heard of them.

©Albert Watson

Just think of the truly famous unique artists that you know or have heard about...the work of those artists have withstood the test of time, and will continue to do so.

Photo of Andy Warhol. ©Albert Watson

Children. Let's look at children as an example. I've mentioned children in a prior post. They are true creatives. When they create, they have no thought of others, no thought of rules, of approval....they sit with their crayons, or their paint, or wooden blocks, and they just create freely....according to their feelings, according to what they want to make.

My nephew drawing in the street. Photo taken by his aunt ;-)

There is a reason many religious writings, and many religious figures, many mystics and philosophers and wise people have recommended throughout the ages to “become as a child.” Because children don't compare themselves to others, they are not self-conscious, they freely express themselves. Their minds are free. Only as they get older does the poison start to seep into their minds...eventually causing them to become the prisoners that most of us are.

Free yourself.

You are a prisoner of others, if you care what they think and if you want their approval. Stop being a prisoner of others. And it is a self-imposed prison. You are the one throwing yourself in prison.

This prison manifests itself in most people’s lives, in basically all areas...how they dress, the cars they want, the homes they want, how they behave, what they say and do not say...all of it...they live their lives with the constant thought of "How will I be perceived." "I want people to think I am SOMEBODY."

So, they are now those other people's slaves...they are the mental slaves of others.

This is what marketers and advertisers take advantage of...your fear, and your desire to be seen as someone special. "Buy this car, and men and women will admire you." "Drink this drink, and people will think you are cool." "Use this smartphone, and people will think you are special."

Everybody is special, in their own way...if they ARE themselves.

If you want to be truly special, if you really want to be somebody, then, stop caring whether someone you don't know thinks you're special. Then you'll truly be special, because everyone else around you is a prisoner.

You will be one of the few free people walking the earth.

Let's get back to creativity. You need to be free of fear in order to be fully creative. I mentioned children...how they are fully free. But as an adult, you actually have an advantage over the simple freedom of a child, and don't get me wrong, that simple freedom is tremendous. It is a TREMENDOUS thing to have. But this advantage that you have as an adult, combined with that freedom (if you can free yourself), really boosts your creativity. And this advantage is EXPERIENCE.

As an adult, what you've experienced in your life can amplify and expand your creativity. Everything you've ever experienced...Your triumphs and failures. Your achievements and frustrations. Your joys and disappointments. Your loves, your hates, your tears, your laughter, your heartbreak...everything that has made you YOU. Only you have those things.

Use it all. You can let those memories and emotions from your experiences come up in you, and flow through you directly into your art.

All of your experience can come across in your creations, in your art, in your ART OF LIVING....if you allow it to. If you don't restrict yourself. If you free yourself.

Set yourself free.

Free....yourself

That's it.

©Ray Arias. Woman in Times Square, NYC

Podcast: Do Not Tell Yourself "No"

One of the biggest mistakes people make in their lives, is not asking for what they want. They think to themselves “I will probably get ‘no’ for an answer.” So, they do not even ask. What they have essentially done is…told themselves “No.” This is a tremendous mistake.

(This podcast is also available through Spotify, Apple Podcasts, etc.)

Here is the transcript for my friends who do not understand spoken English, or those who simply prefer to read rather than listen:

Hello people.

I want to talk today about asking for what you want. I had planned to talk about street portraits, and how to ask people for permission to take their photo. But I then thought, the words are easy. You just walk up, smile, and say "Hi, you look great. Is it ok if I take your photo?" Or, you do not even need to speak, you can simply raise your camera, point to it, and then point at the person...the person will understand what you want, and will either nod "yes" or shake "no."

So, if the words are easy, and pointing is even easier, then why do people have such difficulty. And the reason is that...mentally, the photographer thinks that the person will probably say no. And, therefore, they actually never ask, because people are afraid to hear "no."

If you do not ask, then what you have actually done is said "no" to yourself.

What you are basically doing is denying yourself the opportunity for a "yes" answer.

This is a tremendous mistake.

And you are not alone. There are many photographers who stop themselves from asking for what they want, because they pre-judge and think that the person will say "no."

And people even do this in other areas of their life. It is such a mistake that, if you can stop yourself from committing that mistake, your life in general, not just taking street portraits, should improve tremendously.

© Ray Arias They had been riding around the Washington Square Park fountain. Not satisfied with the candid shots I had taken, I walked up to them as they came around again and asked them to pose.

© Ray Arias She was walking down the street holding her dog like that. I simply pointed at my camera, then at her, and she nodded “Yes.”

You should never tell yourself "no." If you see people that you want to photograph, simply ask them. Let THEM say "no," do not tell yourself "no." You have no idea what that person will actually say, unless you ask; but, if you tell yourself "no," then, of course, it is 100% that the answer is "no."

I can practically guarantee you that, of 20 people on the street that you ask for a portrait, at least two, four, six, maybe even 16 of them will say "yes."

And as I said, even in everyday life, people tell themselves "no" all the time. For example, someone wants to ask for a raise at work, but she thinks "Well, the answer will probably be "no." So, she does not ask. Do you see? She told HERSELF "no." Maybe, the answer from her boss would have been "yes." But, she never allowed for that possibility; instead, she gave herself a "no" answer.

Another example...a man finds someone attractive at a party or bar, and he wants to go up and speak to the person, meet the person, and maybe that will lead to the start of a relationship. But he thinks to himself "Well, that person probably will not like me, or maybe is already in a relationship," or whatever the case may be. So, he does not talk to the person. The person never said "no" to him...he said "no" to himself.

Again, this is a tremendous mistake that people make in life.

Let the other person answer you. Maybe it will be "no,"...but maybe it will be "yes."

Even if you are convinced that the person will say "no" to you, ask anyway. Get into the habit of asking for what you want.

I can practically guarantee that doing this will change your life.

© Ray Arias I spoke with them and asked them to pose.

© Ray Arias He was stopped at a traffic light as I was walking past. I stopped, pointed at my camera, then pointed at him. He nodded “Yes.”

If you go through life asking for what you want, you will receive "yes" answers many times. You will certainly receive more "yes" answers, than the 100% "no's" that you give yourself.

This is one of the secrets to success in any endeavor.

I heard a story about someone who is wealthy, and they say that the reason he became wealthy is that he always asked for whatever he wanted. That was his secret.

If he wanted something, he would ask for it. Always. That person obviously never told himself "no."

It does not mean he got everything he asked for...not at all. What it means is...he never denied himself the opportunity for receiving a "yes" answer. He would ask for what he wanted and see what the response was. Either "yes" or "no.

But if he had behaved like many of us do, and he told himself "no" and never asked...then, of course, there is no possibility for "yes." And his life would have been very different.

I will give you an example from my own life. My first job was in sales, and we would be given a stack of cards. Each card had a name and a number of a person to call, to try and sell the company's services to that person. Amazingly, many of the sales people would look at a card, and they would decide...based solely on the name or phone number on that card...that "This person will probably not buy." And they would not call that number. They would put that card at the bottom of the stack, and would look at another card to call. The best salespeople NEVER did this. They would pick up the first card, look at the number and the name, and simply call...always. They never tried to guess how that person might react. They would call and see what happened. These were the most successful sales people.

Think of little children. They ask for what they want, always. Even if they have been told "no" before. They always think, "Maybe this time I will get it." "Mommy, can I have a cookie?" "No, you had one earlier." Later, the child asks again, "Mommy, can I have a cookie?" "No, sweetie, you already had one." Later, the child asks again, "Mommy, can I have a cookie?" Mommy finally gives in, "Yes."

Even receiving only 10% "Yes" answers from people throughout your life, for the things you ask for, is infinitely better than 100% "no" answers that you give to yourself by not even asking.

Never tell yourself "no."

Wayne Gretzky, the greatest goal scorer in the history of the sport of hockey, would always take a shot at the slightest opportunity to try and score a goal, because, he said, "You miss 100% of the shots you do not take."

I hope this message helps some of you.

I am confident that, if you always ask for what you want, without pre-judging and assuming what the answer will be, that your life will improve tremendously.

I wish all of you great happiness, and all the best in the world.

© Ray Arias I spoke with him before taking his portrait.